Think

In two days I turn 17. 

Six thousand two hundred and five (or something like that) days on the earth, this earth. This planet that’s filled to the brim with people who break hearts and make hearts. People who smile, and even people who make others smile. People who inspire others to do amazing things and people who show us what mistakes not to make.

I didn’t ask to be put here. (and by here I don’t mean sitting in a bedroom of a two story house, I mean here, in the 21st century where we have cars that can drive 125 miles per hour, and phones that can call people who live 100,000 miles away, but a country that still can’t agree on gay marriage.) I didn’t ask for any of it.

That being said it doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate it. But it does make a person question things. When you really start to think about it, when you start to question you very existence or something as mundane as a birthday, it can really get to your head. How each and every one of us has a different idea of who they want to be, what they think is acceptable, how they think the world should work. People like me start to question if we’re right, if we’re “doing it right”. 

I make decisions every day of where I want to eat, what I wear, how I interact with people, and what I rank as important vs. what is irrelevant, never stopping to question whether or not I’m being ignorant until I am sitting at home by myself, on my computer, trying to decide what to blog about when all I really want to write down is what I’m thinking. And today I was thinking about life, which is a pretty big category which is why I was having so much trouble because one question in my head would lead to another and after a while I would just get tired of trying to figure it all out. But what I did figure out is that it’s hard to have an opinion about things you can’t explain or understand. I want so badly to have an opinion on religion or how matter was created, but thats so impossible because I don’t know nearly enough about either of those things to say I have a solid opinion on what’s right or what’s wrong. And I’m not even sure if that’s right. I mean if I’m curious then shouldn’t I do hours of research to see what other people think and try to take a side or am I better off being ignorant of going along with the majority like most everyone else does. This blog wasn’t really about health or beauty. 

Or maybe it was about both. I think it’s healthy to explore your thoughts and this world is a beautiful place. I rest my case.

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